LIVING IN FEAR

Racing the sun home...

2009-05-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Riverside earlier this evening. I was trying to beat the sun home and you would think that being on the 91 I would have lost, but Im gonna call it a tie. I spent last night and today in R-side, it was the first time I had been back since graduating so it was kind of a funny feeling but such a wonderful one at that. I feel like being there for just about 24 hours has rejuvenated me and given me a brighter outlook on life. Im not complaining about my situation here in good ole Lomita but just driving into Riverside felt like I was coming home. Anyway, it has motivated me to start being more active in pursuit to create community here, if I can build one here like I did in Riverside I will consider myself truly blessed! So thank you CT, Lauren, Travis, Janelle, Lee, Jenni, Chris, Heather, Lindsey, Taylor, Fox, Alyssa, Deanna and everyone else I got to hang out with today, you are all a blessing to me!!!

*This is from my phone on the 91*

Nearing the end of part 1

2009-04-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

25 days until I graduate from college and 90 days until I turn 23. Part 1 of my life is almost over, crazy! I am about to step out of the education part of my life and into the job/career part of my life. I am hoping that 23 is not 1/3 of my life but who knows. As graduation approaches I have so many thoughts and feelings inside me that I don't think I could even put it all into words. I am excited/nervous/sad/happy/hopeful/scared about what is ahead. All I can say this moment is thank goodness God is in control. I cannot imagine what other people my age, who are about to graduate, are thinking when you look at our world and where it is at. Why would anyone want to hire someone right out of college when there are more people losing jobs everyday than there are people getting hired. I am so glad my hope is founded in Christ. Even though I have no idea what I will be doing after May 2nd I know that God has big plans for me and I am so excited for the journey of discovery, challenge, and seeking after God.
Its hard to believe this was almost 4 years ago...

"Walking"

2009-04-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

Today chapel was really good and it was due to 3 members of our senior class. Following chapel I had my favorite class, Development & Discipleship. As I have mentioned before I LOVE this class, it stretches my mind and faith! Today in class we continued our discussion on teaching and discipleship. Between these 2 occurrences I began to think of an idea which is not mine because I am not naive enough to think that I came up with it but I love it! The idea of walking is quite a simple concept, that is unless you are a baby and don't have the ability to do so. For instance, when you look at a newborn baby and say "hey kid, you should start walking i think you would it enjoy it" you know very well it is not possible for that baby to start walking. You can show it youtube demonstrations, describe walking to it, read it a book on walking or whatever. The bottom line is the baby is not going to walk until it is good and ready. And when the baby decides it is time it will make an effort and that effort will be because it is watching everyone around it walk and it knows that everyone has an ability that it does not have. I feel like the same can be said for walking with Christ. Chances are someone will not make that decision because you tell them too or they read about it in a magazine, they will decide to walk with Christ because they see other people doing it and doing it well. Babies decide to walk because they want freedom and the ability to explore the world. I feel the same way as a follower of Christ, I want to be free in Christ, I want to explore what can only be explored with him walking beside me.
Now this opens up a whole other idea about the fact that we need to be Christians 'living a life worthy of the one we have been given' because that's when people will take notice and start to take baby steps in the same direction. I want to live a life worthy of the one I have been given, worthy of the call Christ has placed on my heart. So, I'm gonna walk.....

Battling with Tyrone

2009-04-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight my roommate and I got to spend some good, quality time together. This has been lacking because of our crazy schedules and everything coming up in the next month: projects, finals, graduation, what to do after graduation...etc. Anyway, tonight was a much needed nite! We had dinner together, came home and watched Twilight for the first time, worked on graduation announcements, and battled over our favorite Tyrone Wells songs. It got pretty ugly for a while we were both playing songs of his on our computers at the same times and even tried to sing over one another. If you are socal and don't know who Tyrone is then you have probably been living under a rock, that or you just don't know what good music is. If you are not from socal and don't know who Tyrone is then you should get acquainted with him...www.myspace.com/tyronewells. His latest album is good stuff as are the rest!

Death By Church

2009-03-23T23:22:00.000-07:00

is a book by Mike Erre, the teaching pastor at Rock Harbor Church. I just started reading it and it is already rocking my world. I attended Rock Harbor when I lived in Fullerton and was blessed to be able to listen to Mike speak every week. I am not even thru the first chapter and I can't put it down. Its gonna take me a while to get thru because it is a lot to digest but I wanted to share a quote from the book, which is actually not from Mike but he still gets props for putting it in there and writting about it.
"America is simultaneously the most professedly Christian of the developed nations and the least Christian in its begavior." -Bill McKibben.
Ouch!! Can you say wake up call?!? If you are looking for something to read or want to be challenged I reccomend you read this:

IM HOME...

2009-03-14T14:03:00.000-07:00

...and so happy to be here! As I was cruisin into the South Bay today, sunroof open, jammin to Kids by MGMT, surrounded by horrible socal drivers I started to think about how blessed I am. I couldn't wait to come home and see my family and spend some quality time with them and when I have to turn around and go back on Sunday I know I will be equally excited to get back to my CBU family. God is awesome.
Happy Spring Break!!!

Spring Break!

2009-03-13T00:22:00.000-07:00

2 more classes on Friday and its peace out Riverside, time for Spring Break! I am so excited to go home, I have not been home since Christmas and I have been missin the fam a lot lately. Here are the goals I have set for myself for the break:
-Spend qaulity time with the fam
-Read for plessure
-Get ahead in my classes (ok, maybe just caught up)
-Get my hair cut :)
-Meditate on God's word
-Possibly have a job interview
-Spend some qaulity time in prayer
-Try something new: food, game, whatever
-Go to Disneyland
-BLOG!
We shall see how it goes. In the mean time its back to homework and counting down the hours until I get to see these wonderful people:

Felt board Jesus ruined my faith

2009-02-26T00:47:00.000-08:00

For those of you who grew up attending church I am sure you can all remember the felt boards teachers used in Sunday School back in the day. I have been thinking about what all I was taught growing up in Sunday School via this felt board and I have come to the conclusion that it probably did more damage to my faith and that it helped. I grew up thinking that because of the felt board stories I was taught that I knew all I needed to know Jesus and the Bible….WRONG! I was having lunch with my good friend, Marissa Poulson, and she I and I were discussing this topic and decided that because of our Sunday School experiences we had a warped sense of who Jesus was. We learned that Jesus loves so very much (insert sticker with the heart that says Jesus Loves You here) and yes that is true but we did not learn the power and majesty of our God or that his death on the cross was the most excruciating death one could encounter. We did not learn that his grace for us is why we have eternal life and that we are NOT worthy of the life we have been given. Jesus did not have to die in order to save our selfish lives. We are to rejoice in our sufferings. We will strive to do good but end up doing evil anyway. God’s heart is for the poor and unsaved. One day God will destroy the earth and then will create and new earth and a new heaven. We think that the only time Jesus got mad was when he overturned the tables in the temple. For some reason we figured that because we could sing Father Abraham, Jesus Loves Me, and the song about Zaccheus, and knew the story of Moses and Noah we were set when it comes to Bible knowledge. Thankfully most churches have retired the felt boards and moved on are beginning to really engage in our youth which is a desperate need. After all if kids spend 40 hours a week in school and 1-2 hours a week in church, can we waist time putting the little felt people up on the board and spend the whole lesson trying to get them to stay up? Kids are now learning things in kindergarten that were being taught in 2nd grade 10 years ago, so if education has stepped up its game and expected more from the youth then why can’t the church do the same. Or maybe I am wrong, you tell me….

“TomJoy”

2009-02-21T19:25:00.000-08:00

Brit, Brie, Shelby and I went to the Toms Shoes Sample Sale in Santa Monica the other weekend and as we left with our new purchases we decided that there should be a word that describes the joy one receives when they buy their Toms and know that at the same time you get an awesome new pair of shoes you are also sending a pair to a kid in another country who has never had a pair of shoes. So we came up with Tomjoy and submitted the word and definition to urbandictionary.com which they accepted so we told Toms about it and they put it up on their blog along with a picture of us! Check out urban dictionary and the Toms blog!

www.urbandictionary.com
www.tomsshoesblog.com

Title Explanation

2009-02-21T02:01:00.000-08:00

“The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord.”

This was said by one of my teachers the other day during my class. It is a pretty simple statement with extremely powerful words. Growing up I always had a fear of God. Yes, I knew he loved me and protected me but at the same I time I would think to myself that if I ever came face to face with him I would probably pee in my pants, that’s elementary school age theology for you. However, as I have grown up and studied the Bible a little more I now know that all I long I was not being ridiculous or juvenile in my thinking. Recently during a chapel the speaker was talking about the things God saves us from like death, hell, and satan but he also said that most importantly God saves us from himself. We often forget that our God is powerful, an intense God who is not afraid of wrath. I for one would never ever want to encounter the wrath of God. This is something I am truly thankful for because I feel like it helps me to not but God in a box and pretend he is just my bff who is always there for me when things go wrong, but he is an almighty God is above all things and at any moment could easily strike me down. He is more powerful, glorious, and holy than I can ever imagine. I do not consider myself to be full of wisdom but knowing that by fearing the Lord I am on the right track makes me pretty happy. But, at the same time I probably would still pee in my pants if I came face to face with God.

Here we go....

2009-02-21T01:29:00.000-08:00

I have taken a vacation (unplanned) from blogging and the ideas have been building up inside me so I hope this will be the start of many blogs to come. The following are my new blog resolutions:
-blog makeover
-more frequent blogging
-more commenting on other blogs(i still read everyone elses even though i have been neglecting mine)
-update my blogroll (welcome to the blog world kinsley!)
-new blog name (i think i have one and there will be a blog explaining it)

'Tis the Season

2008-12-13T01:27:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas time in case you haven't noticed, especially since Target had an entire aisle dedicated to Christmas stuff before Halloween. I love Christmas for so many reasons, red Starbucks cups, peppermint mochas, family, christmas trees, christmas lights, lots of yummy desserts, amazing smells and so much more. Since I have come to CBU there are new things added to my christmas favorites list like when the palm trees get wrapped in lights, the uco christmas concert, and Yule. This year I got to be part of planning Yule which was a huge job that took a lot of time and stress but in the end it was worth it!
My Yule date David and I

Starbucks after the UCO Christmas Concert

Thanksgiving Week :)

2008-11-23T20:41:00.000-08:00

It is the end of a relaxing, productive weekend and I am watching the American Music Awards and I can't help but get excited for the upcoming week! Not only do we only have 2 days of school this week but there are some other awesome events that I really can't wait for. First off, on Monday I get to have always loved roommate time and celebrate Brit's 22nd birthday! I dearly love this girl:

On Tuesday night I get to experience Coldplay live with another roommate/one of my favorite people! (fyi:this was the night we got our tickets)

On Wednesday I will be going home and get to see the fam, enjoy a short break and I also get to see my wonderful Jew!

On Thursday I get to have quality family time and eat some yummy yummy food. My sister and I are in charge of cooking the Turkey again, we haven't burned it yet so hopefully it will look this good:

On Friday I get to spend some girl time with my mom and my sister while we go on the hunt for my Yule dress, I can't believe it is only 2 weeks away!

As I was writing this blog Coldplay came on and performed Lovers in Japan and I got the chills. Nancy and I are pretty much in denial that we get to witness that live in 2 days!!!!

Encouragement...

2008-11-18T00:53:00.000-08:00

I find that it is something you can never get enough of and is always a wonderful thing to give. I am blessed beyond belief to be part of such a great community hear at CBU, I thank God every day for this blessing! One of the coolest things about being part of this community is that I am continually blessed by so many people in so many ways even when they have no idea. This where I have found my encouragement lately....

Brittany Ingold
This really awesome girl happens to be my roommate, and I feel like the luckiest person to share a room with her. She was Brie's roommate last year and we just decided to be roommates without really knowing each other that well. She encourages me everyday, I get excited every time we get to hang out, she makes me laugh like crazy, she has the heart of a warrior, and most importantly is a God fearing woman who teaches me so much about living for Christ and she doesn't even know it.

Dylan Haddad, Jonathan Cottrell & Travis Mulder
Dylan is one of my good friends, we transferred to CBU at the same time and I was instantly drawn to him because of his witty sense of humor and beautiful heart. Dylan has a passion for reading and discovering Christ in any way possible, I truly admire him! He will stand up for his faith any day and takes pride in being a follower of Christ when everyone around him thinks otherwise. Any girl would be lucky to have this guy and I feel blessed to call him my friend.

Jon is a very close friend of mine and he can always make me smile and then piss me off 5 seconds later, but that is part of his charm. Like Dylan, Jon and I transferred to CBU at the same time and I have no recollection of how we met. It has been a pleasure to watch him grow in so may ways over the past couple of years, to overcome adversity and strive to be a Man of Christ. I can't wait to see where God takes him in the future!

Travis is also part of the group of us that transferred in at the same time. He is unlike any guy I have ever met. He goes from goof to bible answer man in a matter of seconds. I have a lot of respect for him, more than he knows. I also think I got my obsession for naming everything from him :)

Brianna Kaiser
This girl is on the other side of the country and still encourages me on a daily basis. I can also say with confidence that she is going to change the world! She is off learning all kinds of cool things at what I have termed "Jesus School". I miss her terribly but at the same time have a great peace about her being gone because I know God is using her to further his kingdom and share his love with the nations and I could not admire anyone more doing what Christ created us to do. Im pretty sure this girl expanded my heart and my soul, I can't think of too many other people that know me and understand me the way she does.

David Sandlin
I met David at the beginning of last year at the New Student Orientation Retreat, thats NSOR for you Calbap people, and he quickly became one of my favorite people. I think more people at CBU know him than don't. If you haven't read the recent note he posted on Facebook then you should. David and I were talking tonight about the crazy stuff going on in his life and all the things God is teaching him. At the end of our discussion my heart literally swelled when he said "I know I don't have to worry anymore because God will take care of me." Now I know this is kind of a 'no duh' statement but really how often do we forget this simple fact? I know I do all the time!!! I was so encouraged by our conversation and so excited for the things God is doing in his life and how he is using it to bless others, I know I have been blessed by it. And bonus, David happens to be my date to Yule this year and I can't imagine a better one!

The other Roommates (Candy, Nancy, Jeni & Kendra)
I would talk about them each individually but that could be a blog post within itself. I love the feeling of coming home and being able to relax. I can't express to you how encouraging it is to come home and be excited to see your roommates and want to spend as much time with them as possible. They have made my senior so great!!! They have all taught me so much, and I have found joy in living with each of them. Thank you ladies for making my senior year wonderful!

Lindsey Turner
I had the privilege of serving with Lindsey in Thailand this summer and I think I learned just as much from her as I did from the Thai people. We don't get to hang out a lot because of our busy schedules but I cherish our coffee dates and random meetings around school. I always feel encouraged by our conversations because she always wants to know what God is doing in my life and always eager to tell me the same. I really admire people who are so willing to share what God is working on in their lives even when it isn't pretty. She has a passion to share the Lord and it is truly contagious, I honestly believe that she too will change the world. God has blessed her with awesome talents and it is amazing to see her use those for his glory. She might kill me for putting up this picture of her but its honestly how remember her, at a massage place in Thailand where we had to change into more clothes than we were wearing to get a massage :)

Taylor Fagg
Another person I don't get to see enough but still brightens my day when I do. Taylor was also part of the 07 spring transfer group. I have watched Taylor grow in so many ways sometimes I think he is a whole different person, in a good way though. I admire him because he is straight foreword and is not afraid to try new things even though everyone around him is against it. The thing I admire most about him is that he has just decided to 'be happy', which means he has decided to live in that true happiness that can only come from Christ. Along with Dylan, Jon, and Travis I feel protective of him as though he were a brother. With all of these guys it brings joy to my heart to see them happy and succeeding but at the same time makes my heart hurt to see them sad or angry. I am so thankful to have all of them in my life and part of my CBU family. This picture is from our orientation a couple of years ago but it makes me smile :)

Ultimately Christ is the true source of my encouragement but I know that he uses these incredible people to provide some of it, and that is one thing I am thankful for this holiday season! I hope that Christ has somehow encourgaed you by reading this.

A WONDERFUL Weekend!!!

2008-10-19T19:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend I got to see my brother, his wife, and my nice and nephew. I couldn't believe how big my niece and nephew are, the last time I saw them Reed was just a baby and now he is a little man. I try to keep up with their lives as best as I can with them living in Ohio but there are still so many little things that I don't get to know about them. Here are a few things I learned this weekend:

Scottie- Reed's stuffed animal that must be with him before, during, and after sleeping.

Tubby Time- Bath time for both Grace & Reed.

My Only Sunshine- Song that you have to sing to Reed a few times while you rock him before you put him to sleep. My favorite Auntie job :)

Loli- Lolly pop that Grace and Reed get while they do their breathing treatments at night, the affect of having a father with asthma.

Jesus Loves- Grace's new favorite game, just think duck duck goose. jesus loves, jesus loves, jesus loves...you!

Vroom Vroom- Reed's word for a motorcycle. He is obsessed with motorcycles, we walked by one and he stopped, pointed at it and then wouldn't leave.

I know these kids do not belong to me but I can't imagine loving anything more than I love them! I feel like I got just a glimpse of Christ's love for his children this weekend. I am so thankful to have gotten to spend this time with them, even though it was so short.

Gracie and I played with Photo Booth for a while, here are some pics. Who knew something so simple could be so entertaining to a 3 year old.

Blessed...

2008-10-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had Brie's Birthday/Going Away party at our house and today I was thinking about how blessed I have been to have Brie in my life and then I started thinking about all the things that bring joy to my life during this busy season. I am constantly thinking about my classes, homework, Homecoming, Yule, Legacy Week, my finances, and other responsibilities I have, so I thought I would take some time and reflect on the things in my life that I am blessed by:
-Brie
-1 on 1s with Heather and Janelle
-Phone calls from my sister, brother, mom and dad
-Knowing I get to see my niece and nephew in 2 weeks!!!!!!!
-Planning events for CBU that I hope will be glorifying to God
-Getting to go to bed the same time as my roommate and making up hand motions to songs before we fall asleep
-Seeing Dylan, Jon, Taylor and Travis and how God has been working in their lives the past 2 years
-Spending quality time with my roommates and us being open and honest with each other
-Sandals Church
-Living in a house this year and not having to worry about parking
-Classes and teachers that are challenging and educating

Here are some pics from Brie's Party, much thanks to Candy for being our awesome photographer...

Thanks to everyone who came to celebrate Brie, I know she felt extremely blessed to have you all here!

For Janelle...

2008-09-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

Janelle tagged me to do this a while ago and I haven't had the time but I am currently working my wonderful wednesday shift of 1-6pm in the gameroom and I find myself with a few spare minutes. At the moment I am trying to drown out the lovely soundtrack of the gameroom: people yelling at each other, ping pong balls flying all over, and the air hockey puck slamming into the sides of the air hockey table...I find that Pandora Radio does wonders for the current situation. Anyway here we go, I hope you get to learn something new about me!

four jobs ive had:
1.coldstone creamery
2.aquablue swimwear (mommy & me swimsuits, precious)
3.Palos Verdes Chamber of Commerce
4.Commuter Events Coordinator for the Campus Activities Board at CBU (I am doing Special Events this year!)

four movies ive watched more than once: too easy!
1.pride & prejudice
2.star wars (all of them)
3.she's the man
4.bourne ultimatium

four places i have lived: this more difficult
1. PV
2.Fullerton
3.Riverside
4.Lomita (in the summertime)

four tv shows i watch: don't judge, the Bible says not to
1.One Tree Hill (and proud of it)
2.Ace of Cakes
3.Grey's Anatomy
4.hmmm...I want to watch The Mentalist when it starts

four places i have been:
1.nebraska, only been twice but it feels like a 2nd home
2.Bangladesh
3.Ohio
4.Thailand

four people who e-mail me regularly:
1.heather (boss)
2.chris (boss)
3.goldstar.com (how i got sweet but cheap wicked tickets)
4.my dad

four of my favorite foods: im gonna go with favorite meals
1.fried shrimp from bubba gumps
2.mongolian beef from pf changs
3.my moms lasagna
4.chicken tender thursday at the caf

four places i would like to visit:
1.anywhere in africa
2.greece
3.italy
4.jerusalem

four things im looking forward to in the coming year:
1.seeing my niece and nephew
2.lancer legacy week (be on the look out for this, its gonna be sweet!)
3.yule
4.graduating from CBU...yikes!!!

four friends i am tagging:
1.adam (you have to do it since you asked to be tagged!)
2.brie
3.taylor (since you haven't done it yet, even though your sister asked nicely)
4.lindsey (if you ever blog again)

thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed it!
since janelle posted a pic on hers i wanna be cool and post one too. so ladies and gentlemen, who do not already know, meet this years exceptional CAB staff:

It's almost here...

2008-08-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

...I am now only 4 days away from my first day of school as a senior, which I am still having a hard time believing. The past 2 weeks have been great, I moved into my house with my wonderful roommates, had a week of training for CAB, and then spent this past week hanging out with the new freshman. It has been an extremely bust 2 weeks but sooo much fun! I am really excited about this upcoming year and what it will bring. I want God to challenge me and to use me, I want to apply to grad school, to plan some awesome events for school, to be intentional about my friendships with people, I want to build an awesome community with my roommates that is centered around Christ, I want to explore new parts of Riverside that I have never seen, I want to soak up every moment I can during my last year of college but most of all I want to do all this for the glory of God!!!

Tradition...

2008-08-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

When we (Monica, Me, Courtney, Vicky, and Liz) graduated from high school we started a tradition where right before we left for school we would all get dressed up and go out to dinner. A couple years later what started out as dresses and going to the Cheesecake Factory is now jeans, sweatpants, and a t-shirt and getting takeout. Although the woardrobe and dinner location has changed the time we spend together is still awesome no matter where we go or what we wear. I love these girls so much and am so thankful for the roles they have played in my life and I feel blessed to be a part of theirs. We all considered it a miracle that we were able to carry on our tradition this year as we are all a lot busier than we have been, but I hope we will carry on the tradition for years to come!

Jet lagged...

2008-07-24T06:14:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning at 5am not able to fallback asleep but still exhausted, thats jet lag for ya! I got home from Thailand late Tuesday night and I haven't even attempted to bog yet because my mind is still going a million miles an hour trying to process everything.
If I had to sum up Thailand in one word it would be unforgettable, which I know is kind of a no duh but let me explain. It is quite possible that never in my life will I ride an elephant, raft down a river on a bunch of pieces of bamboo tied together, ride on the back of a songthaew, live in the middle of a rainforrest, visit a temple during Buddhist Lent, help build a house for a 71 year old woman,and most importantly I may never be in Chiang Mai, Thailand again.

Here is a look at our elephant ride...kinda scary but totally worth it!

It only took us one hour to tare down the house the older woman lived in before, it was basically made up of random pieces of wood and tree branches. It was hard not being able to communicate with the workers and the other people in the village we were at but it didn't stop us from working with them and having a good time. My favorite moment came toward the end of our trip when we had a bunch of people come out to the village and bless the new house. It was amazing to see the worker's reactions to us when we sang a couple of worship songs and then prayed a blessing over the house, many of them had tears in there eyes, I wish I had a picture of it but my camera battery had died so i'll have to wait to get a picture from someone else and put it up. During the blessing all of us gathered around the woman and kneeled in front of her, as it is custom to be lower than your elder, and we prayed over her and the house and by the end she was in tears, it was one of those moments I will never forget. Then she sprinkled water over us as a thank you!

This is a before and after of the house, sorry I don't have the finished product but like I said my camera was dead

My crew also go to work at a school in the village where helped build the house which ended up being so much fun! The kids were full of life and so anxious to be loved. In the morning we told them a Bible story and then we split them up by grades to do crafts, english, and PE with them. It was definitely hard to say goodbye to them at the end of the week!

Another awesome thing about being at the school...they had karaoke!

While were there our team had the pleasure of adopting 3 students from SouthWest Baptist as part of our team. They truly became one of us, they traveled with us, had team time with us, poured their hearts out to us, made us laugh, and truly made our time in Thailand better than you can imagine. Two of the girls, Emily and Lydia, were part of of our crews and will be there for 6 months (so jealous of them right now) and Shawn was there taking pictures the whole time was there for a month. It was really hard to say goodbye to them but at the same time I am so excited for them and I know God is going to use their time there in mighty ways!!!

The day we left =(

Last but not least, for now anyway, my team was so great! We got along great and had a blast together. It was hard for us to be split up when the International World Changers team came but I think it made us appreciate each other that much more. I love you guys, thanks for an awesome experience!

This was after the Khantoke, which is a traditional a Thai dinner and Thai dancing...pretty sweet!

This was after our elephant ride...best ISP picture EVER!

Thanks for sticking with me through this long post, it was actually quite therapeutic. Im gonna post all my pictures on facebook if you want to see more, and I am always up for personal photo viewings and story time if you are interested. Now im going to get ready for the day because I am going out to Riverside to see Brie, Jeni, Chase, Taylor, Janelle, Chris and Heather and I can't tell you how excited that makes me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Tomorrow...

2008-06-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

I am leaving for Thailand and I haven't started packing =) Hey it will get done sooner or later. Needless to say I am excited, a little nervous, curious, and amazed that time has gone by so fast since my team first started meeting in February. I have to be in Riverside at 6pm tomorrow (tuesday) and from there we will head to the airport and our flight leaves for Bangkok at 11pm and it will take 17 hours to get there and then another hour to get to Chiang Mai. Thats a lot of traveling but I think it will be good bonding time for our team. We will be there for 3 weeks and then i'll be back on the 22nd with many pictures and stories to share. Here is a pic of the fam from father's day a couple weeks ago, quality family day! lah gorn...bye bye

Quite a day...

2008-06-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I started off the day by going to church with my old roommates and then we went to lunch to celebrate Kristin's 25th birthday. It was really great to see them and catch up with everyone, especially to find out that Britney is pregnant! After that I went to see Nicole and got to meet her beautiful new baby boy, Caleb. It was so awesome to meet him I only wish I could have stayed a little longer but I had to speed off the Riverside (go fasttrack) to see of the Romania team. It was neat to be with them and pray with them before they left. I also go to see Chase and Alica which made my day =) Finally I got to see Brie, and we watched the Laker game (sad) and hung out. Then we met up with Taylor and had some Golden Spoon, so all in all a pretty awesome, long, emtional day. And right now im hanging out with my asian watching the office (thanks to taylor)...life is good =)

Im sorry but...

2008-05-14T22:16:00.000-07:00

I need to vent a little. Today was a busy day but a productive one, however a couple things happened that really pissed me off. I had to go to Staples today to pick up some ink cartridges for work and as I was turning onto the street where Staples was I was having a hard time seeing around a bunch of parked cars, so I started to creep out carefully. As I was slowly about to turn the corner a guy in a Ford Expedition flew by me and stared me down the whole time. This is where the frustration began because 1. I was a ways away from his car and he was over reacting 2. I am not freaking Superman therefore I cannot see through metal and thus I was slowly turning onto the street and 3. my German tank could take his American scrap of metal anytime! Then I pulled into the Staples parking lot, found a spot, and of course out of all the empty spots I chose the one that contained my greatest pet peeve. If any of you truly know me then you already know where this story is going. There it was, a shopping cart in the middle of my spot. I am sorry but if you are one of the those people who leave your shopping cart in the parking spot next to you cause you don't want to walk 5 feet to put it away please just understand you are one of the laziest, selfish people in the world. If you claim that you don't have enough time to take 20 seconds and put your cart away then stop, slow down and do not let time control your life.
Life is only as busy as you make it.

Saint Anthony...

2008-05-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

Was one of the early fathers of the Catholic Church during the time when Constantine ruled the empire. Because Constantine allowed Christians to practice their religion openly they were no longer killed for their faith, which actually made them sad because the highest honor a Christian could receive was to be killed for their faith. There is a story that a man approached Anthony and asked him how to live an authentic christian life since the Christians no longer had to fight for their religion(makes you pretty thankful huh?). Anthony's response was 3 things: 1. Love God with all that you are 2. Make sure any action you make is in line with the Bible 3. Do NOT easily leave your home (place where you are at).
This story came from my brother tonight after I told him that I think I should have stayed in Riverside for the summer, don't get me wrong I have an amazing job, I get to live with my sister and I don't have to pay rent plus she pays for almost all our groceries, and I get to be with my family all the time. BUT, I have a feeling that if I had truly surrendered this decision to God he would have told me to not easily leave the place I was at. I am excited to see the ways God will use me this summer and what he will teach me, however I can't help but now wonder what he could have done with me had I been truly obedient to him. It was hard to admit this feeling out loud to myself but that alone was a step of growth, at least I think it was. So let this be a reminder to always rely on God to guide you no matter how sweet the path ahead may look, chances are he has a better one.

Home Sweet Home...

2008-05-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

Well I arrived home Saturday evening feeling bittersweet. I spent the day watching my best friend graduate, which was great but it also meant that at that moment our friendship would forever be different, not bad different just different. Then I had lunch with her and her family at Elephant Bar which was oh so yummy, after that I packed the beast full of my stuff and drove home. Im living with my sister again this summer which I am really excited about but it is always kinda weird being home at first because it feels like I'll just have to go back to school in a week or so. Well, in order to make that feeling go away and more importantly to survive the summer I had a job interview today with the Palos Verdes Chamber of Commerce which went really well and they offered me a job and I accepted (woohoo!). I actually start tomorrow morning which I am super excited about and they only need me through the end of June, which anyone who knows me knows that God orchestrated this perfectly because I leave for Thailand July 1st and I was worried about finding a summer job that would allow for me to be gone during that time. The only down side to this is the fact that I have a ton of stuff covering my room! I took a picture on my phone that is at the top, but it truly does not do the messiness justice. Who knows when the mess will be put away and you will be able to see the floor, it certainly will not be tonight because I am tired and I have to wake up in the morning and be a big kid. Why were we in such a hurry to grow up??

Here is to a fabulous summer!

7.5 Hours...

2008-04-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

Today I am working in the gameroom for 7.5 hours and am trying to make the best of my time, but this is where having a myspace, a facebook, and a blog can get you in trouble. I have been somewhat productive but I know I will be regretting not spending every moment studying when I take my Lifespan & Development class tomorrow and it kicks my butt. I have been sick for almost 2 weeks now though and so I think I derve to take it easy, well as easy as possible with finals.
Sitting in the gameroom for all this time has also allowed time for me to think and I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around that idea that as of 4pm tomorrow when my final is over I will be a senior in college. This is really hard for me to fathom because I have always been the baby of the family watching my brother and sister who are years older than me go through life and school and I never could imagine myself as old as they were. Well here I am almost 22 and almost a senior in college. I suppose though that if I were like my sibblings Iwould also be getting married this summer...no thanks! Although I am very excited for summer because I know God is going to be stretching me and growing me in so many ways. There will also be sad things about summer like leaving CBU and the awesome people that make up my family here. So here it is the pros and cons of summer:

Pros: being home with the family, living with my sister, amazing weather, no class, Thailand, my birthday, getting to spend time with my Impact girls, being next to the beach, my Jew, my church, working Spirit West Coast, a new job, and what adventures might arise

Cons: not seeing Brie everyday, not seeing my CAB peeps, no event planning, no Jeni, no tennis court in my backyard, no Sandals, no 1 on 1s, no Jon, Dylan, Travis or Taylor, no roommates, no staff meetings, paying for all my food, dressing nice for my job, seeing friends every where I go on campus

Wow I never intended to write all of this but hey thats procrastination for ya!

FINISH STRONG!!!

2008-04-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

These are two words that every student leader at Cal Baptist is familiar with because it is all we have heard the past few weeks. And I swear if I hear it again I might hurt someone, seriously what does it really mean?? Why can't they just say "remember: get everything done and we are here to support you" or "make sure you are working as hard now as you were at the beginning of the year" no there has to be a catchy little phrase that makes us all cringe every time we hear it. By now students have decided if they have completely checked out or not, and the ones who have aren't even listening to the "finish strong" speech so lets just cut those words out of the vocabulary for the rest of the year.

"Finish Strong Y'all!"

Be BOLD...

2008-03-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

We are going through the book of Ephesians in ISP, which happens to be my favorite book of the Bible. Every time I read through Ephesians I feel like God makes me realize that I will never know or understand it all. Each time I learn something new and it makes me marvel at what an amazing teacher Christ is, if only I could feel that way about all my teachers =)

Anyway, last night we were reading chapter 3 of Ephesians and I was stuck on verse 12. It says "...in Christ Jesus our Lord in whom we have BOLDNESS and access with confidence through our faith in him." Now I do not see my self as bold or full of confidence when it comes to most things especially sharing my faith with complete strangers. But as we were reading God smacked in the face with the realization that he has made me BOLD and because of that I have no excuse to not be confident it sharing Christ and living a Christ-like life. God has blessed us with all the tools necessary to share his love with others, the only problem is it is up to us to decide whether or not we are going to use them or let them go to waste.

So I encourage you to not see yourself through your own eyes or the eyes of others but see yourself through the eyes of Christ because to him you are perfect and pure, BOLD and confident!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"
Philippians 4:13

I dearly love...

2008-02-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

...these three people. They are the ones that I get to see all the time and the ones I open my heart up too. I trust them with all that I am and they continually support me on a daily basis. They know the best of me and the worst of me and still want me around. I can't imagine my life without them and I consider myself truly blessed to have them in my life.

Today at church my pastor talked about the vision of our church and how it was created to be a place where everyone is accepted, the best and the worst of them and it made me thankful to be a part of such an awesome community and for having people in my life who do the same for me.

Oh the pressure...

2008-02-23T23:20:00.000-08:00

This being my first blog I felt the pressure to write something profound that will keep you coming back to read it. However, the profound things I think of usually come to me spur of the moment so instead I’ve just decided to be me and tell you about my life at the moment.

This week has been a fantastic ball of stress! I got the pleasure of planning, alongside my friend Shelby, a concert featuring Tyrone Wells. I cannot tell you how it felt to sit there and listen to that amazing man sing and think how crazy it was that not too long ago I was living in Fullerton going to CSUF and doing nothing with my life to being at CBU, being involved in student leadership and getting to help plan events for our student body. The stressful part of the week came from taking an event that was completely planned to be outside and having to figure out how to turn our cafeteria into a coffeehouse environment because of the rain. Well, we pulled it off thanks to the CAB staff, 75 RA’s, my family, and 1 ISP team! I could not have dreamed of a better event, Tyrone was incredible to work with and to listen to, my bosses and our staff was super supportive, and we had at least 350 people come to see Tyrone.

The second awesome thing about my week was going my first NBA game. We took about 100 students to the Clippers/Jazz game at the Staples Center last night and it was a lot of fun to relax and watch basketball, I can’t even remember the last time I got to do that.